Category: Shouts

He looked at me in such a way as to make me feel uneasy. And I, the decision was made instinctively in a second, stood clear of him, put a distance in between and only skated around in the further part of the square. I thought if I kept away and ignored him, he would eventually leave. The square was quiet, but not infrequently visited, indeed only a minute ago there was a middle-aged, laborhardened woman, coming out from one of the paths in the bush leading up. And she, at the sight of the skaters downstairs in the ring, stopped in the middle of her steps on crossing the square, gazed a while before walking away.

When I attempted the pass connecting to another square–I thought I would feel more at ease if I stayed at a different square from him–I kept my eyes averted from him as I came close, for he was not very far from the pass, and as I came close, he made such sounds as to diminish and dehumanize: a sort of smacking of the tongue and lips.

Later when I caught a glimpse of what he was doing–he now, in the square I just left, sat directly across the pass so he could have a full view of me and I of him–I did not feel threatened, but disturbed, disgusted and annoyed.

I directly called out for help: there were park staff downstairs at hand, and they directly came. In the course of me leaning on the railing talking loudly to the people downstairs and they getting the message. The man at the other square was not afraid, he covered himself and stood up and listened to ascertain what’s going on, he lingered on still even after he understood the situation, and when he eventually took up his electric scooter, it was without any haste, he walked towards the bush and disappeared.

Later when I walked down–it’s really less than a two-minute walk to the busiest part of the park–I saw little girls in pink dresses tottering around. The sight of them and the thought of what just happened at so close a proximity sickened my heart me: this is the world we bring them up into.

The disturbance of the mind continued to the next morning, and occupied my thoughts throughout my long walk.

Is it a violence unto oneself? I wondered, when a man does such a thing.

And he won’t wake up a new person the second day, it’s reasonable to assume, what he did he probably had done before and would do again, and there is the possibility, if he continues on that path, he would at some point become dangerous to women.

And I wondered about the psychology of this, is it power he felt? To diminsh and impose and assert. And, it was unlikely, that he took it into his consideration that it was an extremely unpleasant thing to the other person.

What is the process of this? Surely he was a new baby born of a woman in the very beginning, what is the process from that baby to this man on the square?

I walked on and thought to myself. You have to be smart in New York, especially when you are a woman, you have to be aware and be mindful of potentially unsafe situations, for potentially unsafe situations there are and will be. And you have to protect yourself and keep away.

The original sense of the word ‘smart’, it’s said, is ‘causing sharp pain’, and from this arose ‘keen, brisk’, whence the current senses of ‘mentally sharp’ and ‘neat in a brisk, sharp style’.

聪明, the Chinese word for ‘smart’, could be plainly explained: 聪 acute hearing (to listen well) and 明 clear sight (to see well).

Yes. The world for a woman could be dangerous, and this, the little girls in pink dresses have to be taught, you have to be smart and protect yourself.

But that does not mean you cannot go out in the open and enjoy skating, or anything New York, this world could offer.

Do not give the power away. Walk away, run away at potential danger. But do not give the power away: the power to stand and be and feel free in the open.

“Turn the table around” I thought to myself and quickened my steps, “turn the table around. Use this experience to strengthen yourself. Become stronger and smarter and better equipped to fight and enjoy.”

“To speak the truth, reader, there is no excellent beauty, no accomplished grace, no reliable refinement, without strength as excellent, as complete, as trustworthy.” Thus says one of the finest women, Charlotte Bronte, in her best novel.

力 the word for strength in Chinese, comes from the image of the shapes of human tendons:

And it is well, after putting on pink dresses on little girls, to teach them to be strong.

“It’s getting cold fast.” I thought as I walked into the now becoming unpleasant early morning chill. The bright halfmoon hung high in the sky, and next to it stars twinkled and sparkled. It felt a treat! It felt I was given a present! As it’s so rare to see stars here in New York. I looked and admired: there were quite a few of them even!

“Oh. It’s so dark. Day comes later now.” The cold stung my bare arms as I jogged on. “It’s only downhill from now on. New York winter could be harsh.” But who said that?

First it’s the shock. I lay flat on the ground, paused, in astonishment. Later on I thought that must be what children feel when they fall: there is always at first the look of bewilderment. What has just happened? they must be thinking, before the pain comes and they proceed to cry.

“You tripped? Over a jutted out tree root on the ground? You could not see? Oh. It’s always the darkest before dawn you know.” On hearing my story, one friend threw out this saying carelessly, and in this case, the line took on its literal meaning.

Chinese language takes wonderfully little fuss about the tenses and forms. A verb, take “eat” for example, is one character: 吃. It matters not, as it in English, what subject comes before the verb (I, we, he, she, it, they), the verb stays the same. As a character is a definite and finished form, 吃, means “eat”. The character has a “口”, a mouth, in it, anything that with a mouth that could put food in it is able to conduct the action of eating. And 吃 is used indiscriminately: 我吃。我们吃。他吃。他们吃。

And, now a thought comes to my mind: that unlike English or perhaps German, Chinese does not have very clear and clarified grammer on tenses. As the English or German demands precision, and they have their languages to correspond to this need of being precise. Chinese, it’s known to the world, is at once philosophical and practical.

And, I meant to say, Chinese, for thousands of years it has been existing and evolving, despite its absolute simplicity on grammatical tense ( normally instead of easing Chinese language learners, often confusing them for the lack of definite rules), serves to meet every demand for expressing every situation a human could meet in life.

I fell. That for the Chinese is an action done and completed.

我跌倒了。

Here it uses the particle 了 after the verb to indicate the action is done and complete. It often, yet not always, means it’s in the past. For 了 could also indicate changes: here indeed it also is a change–from running, standing upright to falling, laying flat on the ground. But it could also indicate changes and the action is not yet past but still in continuous: like a note of the change of weather: 秋天来了: Fall is coming. 天冷了: Sky(weather) (is getting) cold. (It’s getting cold.) 下雨了: down rain (change indication: it was not raining before but now it’s raining), in proper English it would be: it’s raining.

Since 了 focus not on the past but the completion of an action, it also can be used to talk about the future: 吃了饭我就去。I will go as soon as I finish eating the meal.

And it could express your annoyance of something you hope it has done and is over but it’s not: 别吵了！Have done with quarreling!

That’s why if the student were told 了 is a particle for the past tense, he could get confused: for the focus is not on the past but the completion of an action or the changes, changing of a situation.

And it could be used directly after adjectives too: 好了！It’s good now! Finished! Done! 冷了！It’s getting cold!

So so as there is ambiguity in the world and in life itself: who can divide night and day as a knife divides a watermelon? There is ambiguity in Chinese language, for the Chinese never seperate himself from the bigger world, from nature.