It’s All Chinese to Me

A slight illness, a toothache, seems to have the power, at least momentarily, of distorting all the philosophy I held when I was well and healthy, and at the same time makes me quite a philosophical person.

The things I took for granted when I was well: run in the park in the morning, a good breakfast, work (there is dignity in working), a nice walk in quiet neighborhoods, rest, reading, a long bike ride on weekend……….in a word, the ordinary things you could enjoy in life when you have energy, when you are healthy, I have no heart to do when in the torment of tooth pain.

Illness makes it quite impossible to spend your time well. The pain drains your energy and makes you wretched and restless and forever tired. No wonder the English word “patient”, means both the person who is ill and “suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious”.

In normal times, I would consider myself a quite patient person with a strong will and fortitude. That is, when I am not tested. The moment I got ill, all the fortitude, if I had any, went down the drain. I simply did not have energy to be nice and sweet or do anything that requires effort. The thoughts of a patient do not extend to “long walks in the park” or “a nice dinner with a partner”. They go no further than the pain that they have to nurse.

All the ambitions I have, the hopes and happiness, when I am ill, feel like distant dreams, and how bold we are, how arrogant, fools we are, to have plans and hopes and ambitions, to think we have control, that we will be here forever, we will live forever.

You are a mortal, my toothache tells me, you are a mortal who is fragile and is only here for a brief moment.

And I, wincing at the pain, say to my companion: “Oh, I never thought eating a good burrito could be happiness. I will no longer take it for granted when I get well again. I will eat my next burrito with, oh so much, enjoyment.”

Then I know I will take it for granted again. A healthy body, a happy mind, is bold, and it will not remember all the despondence it has at weakness and illness. And how much is our body connected to our mind! Health must be the foundation of happiness. And it’s “Health and Happiness” I wish for all the poor mortals.

病 bìng, sickness, has the sickness radical 疒 which is said is from the image of a sick person leans on or lies down in bed. Characters related to sickness normally have this radical: 痛，瘦（thinness is considered an illness), 疼，疲，疤，疚，疯….., the other part is 丙 which tells the pronunciation. It is also said that 丙 could mean “south” and “fire”, because one of the main symptoms of common illness could be “fever” and “inflammation”. This, in any case, applies to me, it is an inflammation of the gum.

When I saw the lost cat post on the electricity pole on the sidewalk, the poster described the cat as “a beloved family member”, I think I felt more or less what they must have felt because I have been there.

It’s not that I lost a cat. I did not own him in the first place. It came with the room I lived in for three months. I was informed there was a cat. I did not think anything of it except maybe occasionally greetings at living room encounters, like a respectful and distant roommate. I did not know that the cat would almost instantly take on me as a companion. He seemed to think whoever occupied that bed, that room was there to be his companion and best friend. And we would spend a lot of time together.

He would sit near me, curl up near me and sleep, or lick his furs near me. The nearness seemed to give him comfort. It felt as essential for him, this nearness to a companion, as food and water. And sometimes when I pat his head or stroke his long back, when we rub our noses together, when he, at me coming into the room, stretches out his head to me for a touch, and when I look at his eyes at these moments, I could swear that he understands love and feelings and that he has a soul.

But, especially when it’s excessive, it makes one feel a little self-conscious, a little silly, to make a fuss out of a dog or a cat. “Plutarch says of those who dote over pet monkeys or little dogs that the faculty for loving which is in all of us, rather than remaining useless forges a false and frivolous object for want of a legitimate one.”

Many of us would argue, and many of us would disagree. Still, raising children and loving children certainly is seen as a more “legitimate one”. And it would inspire a slightly odd feeling at the sight of a dog in a stroller. And loving a pet to excess would make many an on-looker uncomfortable.

Yet, I miss my companion. Strange a mute creature could have such a strong hold in your heart. His sad look at our parting has forever left a mark in my heart. A seed of compassion and pity and sympathy is sowed in my heart for all living creatures. For that’s what we have in common, beast and man, we are both creatures of this world.

He has been the best companion I have ever had (many a pet owner would agree). He was always happy at me coming back home. He always wanted my presence. He was always there without intruding on my solitude. He asked nothing of me and I was always at ease because I felt absolutely no demand and no judgment from him. It’s a companion of the purest form that he wants my presence and nothing else, and it’s completely disinterested.

It was impossible for a human companion to have all these qualities: we all have our stories and burdens and backgrounds and selves. But maybe it’s also because of these, human relationships, if more complicated, are more profound and interesting.

But why compare? There is no need to choose. We can have both and learn from both kinds and make them complement each other. Excessiveness of any kind cannot be good. It’s just if the object is a pet, it adds to the sense of ridicule. I now intend to believe that one that loves and is loved by a cat or a dog (or any other pet for that matter) knows more about how to love and be loved by a human.

伴侣 bànlǚ, the Chinese word for “companion”, both of these characters means companion and it’s matched together to form the word of the same meaning: this method of forming words is quite common in Chinese, 中心，海洋，号码，美丽…..to give but a few examples.

伴, people radical on the left side and on the right it’s the character for “half” which also tells the pronunciation, means companion in the sense of “my other half”.

As for 侣, 苏轼, one of the greatest Chinese ancient poets, wrote, 侣鱼虾而友麋鹿, see fish and shrimps as my companions and elks as my friends.