Tag: Mandarin

Sketches of San Francisco

Published on by Zhi-Juan Guo

California yoga is no joke.

You would think New York has the best of everything and the yoga people there are pretty impressive until you come to the studios in San Francisco. They seem to give it another layer of skillfulness, a seriousness, and devotion that only a calm and tranquil life could bring.

Indeed, as you get to know this city more–the highest income per capita and the bluest city in the U.S–you understand that there is solid ground for the general well being of the people in this city. With a salary that could compete with New York, it has only one tenth of New York’s population, which means you could walk un-harrassed on a clean street with lots of plants to look at.

Everywhere you look there is a public tennis court, a, probably world-class, public golf course, and lush California plants and flowers. It’s said San Francisco is more or less a square of seven miles by seven miles. So no matter where you live in this city, you are never very far from the ocean, and there is Golden Gate Park, no worse than Central Park, for you to stroll or bike in.

Admitted that no other museum could compete with the Met in New York. But the ones here–California Academy of Science, Exploratorium among others–offer you a refreshing view of what modern museums could do. Never did I gain so much self-knowledge in a museum setting: examine yourself, your fellow human beings, your surroundings and the universe you yourself–who are actually made of stars (not only a romantic but a scientific view)–are part of, the museums say.

Mini walking trips within the city, biking among lofty pine trees and next to the Pacific Ocean, the weather is never so hush, the crowd never so demanding that it inspires the savage survival instincts that makes New York fierce and aggressive and lively and so interesting and draining.

I love being greeted by a smiling stranger on a walk. It now fits the articles and books I read about this city: it says you are either moderate Democrat or progressive Democrat and you grant everyone his right to live and earn his bread.

And I’m discovering books, literature written by Chinese who came before me living here in California. New York is so strong that it sweeps you along and everyone in it has to be a New Yorker. Here in this new front, the new world of the New World, there is space enough for you to be yourself and I’m learning.

I’m kneely and a little embarrassingly aware that I’m not one of them–highest income per capita. I’m not that capita and I’m not earning my keep. And yet, and yet, every single day that I’m granted here, I’m going to make a moment out of it and I’m determined to make my mark. I’m determined to be happy in this city.

Marriage

Published on by Zhi-Juan Guo

It was an elderly female judge in a black rope, urbane and benign, and she went:

“……The contract of marriage is most solemn and is not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and seriously with a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities.

……….no other words of mine or any other person truly marry each of you to the other. That is done when you exchange your promises and commit yourselves to this marriage and each other.

By entering into this marriage, you are pledging yourselves to a lifetime in which each will enrich the life of the other. You will be partners standing together to cushion the difficulties of life. Rejoice in your partner’s graces. Nurture your marriage carefully and watch it grow gracefully.

…….To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish as long as you both shall live?

……You have joined yourselves in solemn matrimony. May you strive all your lives to meet this commitment with the same love and devotion that you now feel. For love is truly the greatest gift we are given to share: love’s compassion is the glory of life. Delight in each other’s company and never take the other for granted, for you are destined to enjoy the blending of your two lives.”

And like this, a marriage was made.

The word for “marriage” in Chinese is “婚姻”.

“婚” originally means the woman’s family, and “姻” the man’s family. So marriage, in the Chinese sense from ancient times till this day still, means the uniting of the two families rather than the two individuals.

And it’s two very different things for the two families. The woman’s family loses a daughter while the man’s family gains one: for traditionally the bride goes to live with the man in the man’s family. There are even two different words for “marry” for the bride and the groom. The bride “嫁”: that she leaves her birth home and goes to the man’s which would be her new home hence. The groom “娶”: that he fetches a woman to his home to be his wife.

“结婚” is the word for “to get married”. “结”, with the silk radical on the left, means to “tie the knot”, and “婚”, the woman’s family.

Is it good to throw off traditions then? Or do these traditions and customs define who we are and where we come from? Modern China certainly is a strange country. Mao was one to smash feudalism, old values and old traditions. Yet after him, and maybe because of him, nation and family become ever so dominating that there is hardly any space for the “individual”.

Then oughtn’t our past, our tradition free us instead of constrain us? And isn’t “the human”, “the individual’s” responsibility to use everything to strength themselves? That they utilize everything to the end of their strength and happiness?

It’s a more complex matter than could be sorted out neat and clear. Luckily we could have a hundred and more ideas of ourselves, didn’t that eight-year-old little girl, with her blond hair and hazel eyes and children’s smile and children’s sensitiviy, say that she is a little bit Chinese because her uncle lives in China?

And if you personify the city San Francisco, you could say that she is so many things, and she has gone through an awful lot, then precisely because of these, she gains her strength and acquires her charm.

So so in my red dress I listened solemnly to the woman judge’s words: “to have and to hold from this day forward……..love is truly the greatest gift we are given to share……”, a line from an ancient Chinese poem came to my mind: “执子之手，与子偕老”. And, perhaps a little naively, I believe that love made this marriage and millions and millions more and that to tie that knot is to say, with all the seriousness and solemnity love demands, to the person in front of you: I love you everyday, oh everyday and more.