Tag: Mandarin tutor

I Am Sorry!

Published on by Zhi-Juan Guo

–So what do you mean when you say you are sorry?

Confucius to Chinese is very much like Christianity to Westerners: It has been there and it has been there for a while. And even you have not read the book of its creeds. It’s so prevalent in culture, in language and in everyday life that you could not pick up a book that has not dyed by its color in one way or another. It’s in the air you breathe. It’s in the words you speak. It’s in your mind in the way you think.

One big concept of Confucius is that everyone has its place in a family: a father has a father’s place and a son a son’s; a husband has his place and a wife hers.

Confucius expressed it so well that everyone knows his duty and right and what to do in his place.

He looks at the family and puts everyone in its proper place. Then he looks at the nation and tells everyone too has his right place in a nation.

That’s one of the reasons that a feudal government has been able to thrive and exist in China for so long and be so successful, and in the end, indeed, it died hard and left China in a desolate situation.

For if each one knows his place and no one steps over the borderline, there is no fear of rebellion or riots.

The control starts from the very beginning. A Chinese man, sadly, is never a free man. From the moment he was born, he is a son and supposed to take up a son’s duty. And all the sons in China, even today, not many could step out of that heavy duty to be a son but at the same time his own person.

So first thing first, in a Chinese society, is to know your place.

But what does it have to do with the topic you bring up today? I hear you say.

Well. It has everything to do with it. “Sorry” in Chinese is “对不起 dui4buqi3.”

Which if literally translated means: to face(you) I will not rise; I bow to you; I put myself lower to you; I feel ashamed.

If the English word “sorry” means “sorrow”, it means that I feel what you feel, and I feel your sorrow.

The Chinese man when he says “I am sorry”, he means ” I put myself lower than you. I am ashamed. It’s my fault. I have done something wrong.”

So now would you imagine a funeral scene? The Western guy says to the Chinese man who has lost a family member: “I am sorry.”

And what would the Chinese man say?

Would he say what I have said so many times to the westerners who would say–with a sympathizing tone–“I am sorry” when I told about some mishaps in my life?

“But it’s not your fault!”

Speak to Me

Published on by Zhi-Juan Guo

“Put me down!” The little tyrant demanded in her small voice, kicking her tiny legs– indeed cute as a little daisy she was, and looked no more than three years old. The dad–giant he looked in contrast with the infantile figure–set the tyrant on the ground with nervous haste: you could tell, from his clumsy movements and his uneasiness, that he must be a first timer, and did not yet quite know how to best serve his little daisy.

Now the balloon on the stroller somehow untangled itself and threatened to flee, the dad caught it just in time, but the little tyrant snatched the string from the giant’s hand. Out she spoke: “My balloon!” Then she emphasized: “Mine!” And off she carried her treasure and out she strode in mighty steps in front of the giant her slave.

Words must be a kind of magic for children when they are learning language: you say a thing, and it’s done; you claim a thing, and it’s yours. You could direct and demand and assert by simply opening your mouth and utterring some sounds.

Next to the striding little daisy with her smiley face of a red balloon, were two dogs sniffing each other, then all of sudden, upon some sign only they themselves could sense, amity turned into enmity, and they started barking. The two owners, while pulling the leashes and trying to calm their dogs down, greeted each other good morning and talked about the weather:

“It’s so humid!”

“I know! It’s awful! It’s been humid this whole summer!”

While the dogs could only bark, their owners–human–could make a lot more complicated sounds that they call language. And without knowing it or much thinking about it, these two humans followed a few principles of communication: they exchanged information, they cooperated with each other, and even in so small a talk–only two lines indeed before they passed out of each other’s way–there was a sense of mutual goodwill.

It sets you wondering what is the very first sound, the very first word, human made that could be called language–it is, when you think about it, not surprising that in almost every language the word for mother sounds similar: mama. There must be a long period of barking, hissing, granting, roaring, piping…before humans could express themselves properly.

And the need must be the drive behind it. The little girl commanded “put me down” for her desire, perhaps, to walk by herself. And in the very beginning of human existence, it must be the need to exchange information that sets off the creating of language. At last they could say to each other: the pond on the north has more fish in it, and tomorrow there is a storm coming you’d better shelter yourself.

“Language learning is both socially motivated and socially constructed.” Said an eminent language teacher. “Looking for ways of exploiting the learning opportunities offered by the raw materials of the classroom, that is the language that emerges from the needs, interests, concerns and desires of the people(the students) in the room.”

This concept also concers with a language learning method developed in the 1950s: PPP which stands for Presentation, Practice and Production.

Which basically, if I could use learning to ride a bike as a metaphor (after all, learning languages and learning to ride a bike have some similarities: it’s a skill, and when you learn a skill, you need to practice, practice, practice), means I (the teacher) show you how to ride a bike, you( the student) imitate a few times what I just showed you, then you(the student) are put out on the road( the real situation) to ride the bike with the skill you just learned while I (the teacher) guide and correct and help to improve.

And ideally the Production part–the stage you are put out on the road–should be by far the largest part of the lesson, which means you have to swim to learn to swim. And you have to speak to learn to speak.

So we could begin with a new word, we could warm up by making a few sentences with this new word, then maybe you could start really speaking to me, say something you really want to express, something that you are dying to tell, some information you have to pass on, some emotions you must vent…… Speak to me.